Stop the madness!
Why is there an almost different set of comments that is always spewed out to young new moms who decide to make parental ventures? With the amounts of unsolicited comments and endless queries, you’d think young new moms have to defend their decision to procreate.
While learning and good advice are always welcome, young new moms could do without the condescension that is often thrown their way. The fact that someone has decided to have kids in their 20’s is in no way an indication of their abilities to do a job perfectly. In fact, some of the ‘questions’ raised about decisions to have a kid are just reflections of what the society thinks. They are not really questions about their maternal abilities.
Here are 8 things young new moms are tired of hearing:
1. “You are not ready”
Excuse me! If YOU are not having the baby, how would you know if someone else is ready or not? The only person who can know for sure is the mother herself. In fact, who is ever fully ready to have a child? You can’t figure out someone’s maternal capabilities until they are actually tested. So, save this comment and bring it out after about ten years when the child is fully grown.
2. “Say goodbye to that body”
The only thing that young new moms will be saying goodbye to is the placenta. It is the same body, only now with a few battle scars. There might be a few changes here and there, but it is still the same body. You probably pass some lovely looking ladies in the streets without realizing that they are young new moms.
3. “Kiss your social life goodbye”
Nothing could be further from the truth. Young new moms don’t have to choose between having friends and having a baby. Things might be a little different, but the social life never goes away, not nearly as much. A woman can still be social and maintain great relationships when they decide to become a parent.
4. “But, none of your friends are parents yet”
Oh great. So, aspiring young new moms should meet and roll the dice. Whoever scores a double gets to go first. What an outlandish thing to say. In fact, being the first means that you’ll get all the support and probably extra babysitting hands.
5.”You should have waited until …”
Is it too hard to just say, “Congrats on starting a family?” There’s no such thing as a perfect time to have a baby. It’s different for everyone. After all, you are already talking about something that is irreversible (if the unlikely event that you were actually right). The baby is already here and everyone is ecstatic. Save the young new moms the doom and gloom.
6. “Was your pregnancy really planned?”
You wouldn’t ask someone if they are having sex and what intentions they had in mind, would you? Then why is it okay to ask young new moms or any pregnant woman for that matter? Every woman has a choice and the fact that they decided to carry the pregnancy to full term is a strong message about their choice.
7. “But you are still a baby”
Babies can’t have babies, right? This is a ridiculous and condescending comment, unless of course, you were saying it to an actual baby.
8. “How old are you?”
Seriously? Where are your manners? Many times, this question is never intended to establish the other person’s age. It is such a condescending and inappropriate question to ask anyone.
What other annoying comments made to young new moms have you come across? Sound off in the comments section.