When we get into a romantic relationship, we’d like to think we signed up for safety, love, and happiness. That’s the whole point of a romantic relationship, right? You must be nodding up to that point. However, things can get murky, and you could wake up one morning to a stark realization that you are in a toxic relationship.
Your partner does not have to be verbally or physically abusive for you to know that it is a toxic relationship. Sometimes, the signs are not too obvious, and you may find yourself in a toxic relationship for much longer than you should.
Here are some telltale signs that your romantic relationship is toxic:
1. You feel a little queasy around your partner
If you were to try consuming anything poisonous or harmful, your body would most likely try to throw it up. Our bodies are a whole lot smarter than we give them credit for. They will always manifest emotional woes in the physical. If your hair falls out, you get constant ulcers, dizziness, or overall ill feelings, it might be trying to get your attention. If the object or source of these feelings is your partner, it may be time to talk things over or even end the relationship.
2. You are always walking on eggshells
One of the most obvious signs that you are in a toxic relationship is when you have a controlling partner. You can be so terrified of your partner’s emotional response that you live in constant fear of sharing your opinions. If you always find yourself having to tone down things so that your partner can feel safe or good, you are probably in a toxic relationship.
3. Keeping scores
The relationship scorecard is a common trouble spot. Toxic partners always try to dig up guilt and bitterness from the past to try and manipulate their partners in the present. The sad thing is that this scorecard tends to develop and grow bigger over time. You might want to have a serious chat about clearing it and tossing it out altogether.
This is a subtle sign that you are in a toxic relationship. There’s a big problem if your partner won’t discuss important relationships topics such as finances or when to have children. It is a toxic pattern and one that usually does not end well. If you notice persistent stonewalling, you are probably in a toxic relationship.
5. Power struggles
The balance of power in a romantic relationship is a tricky subject. You can look at it as a seesaw where both partners wield the same power. The goal is to keep it relatively calm and balanced. However, one of the partners may decide to destabilize or unground the other partner by shifting their weight. This is a manipulative tendency and a sign of a toxic relationship.
6. Your partner wants you all to himself or herself
It can feel pretty sweet to know that someone wants to spend a lot of time with you. However, if your partner asks you to cut off all your friends and family members, it could be a red flag. Your partner might simply be trying to cut you off from your support system and preparing the ground for manipulation without interference. Our social systems are complex and while having someone special is a source of joy and happiness, we also need other people in our lives.
When it comes to romantic relationships, some partners are all in while others are out to sabotage the whole relationship. When you pick up these signs, you may have to make radical decisions if things don’t change.
Are there any other subtle signs that you may be in a toxic relationship? Share with the rest of the gang in the comments.